Actively working toward a sex positive life is more important now than ever. For a long time, sex and sexuality have been instinctually linked to shame and guilt, especially for women, members of the LGBTQIA+, and minorities.  

The sex positive movement seeks to counteract sex negativity by recognizing sex and sexuality as natural, healthy parts of the human experience and works to destigmatize open communication around sex, sex education, sexual identity, consent, sexual health, gender, sexual practices, and so much more.

Being sex positive isn’t about having sex. It’s about cultivating a space that’s open and accepting in its diversity of consensual sexual expression. We’re here to replace shame with proud pleasure and the “taboo” with comfortable freedom!

Here are 10 ways to be more sex positive in your everyday life.

Consent is the clear expression of reciprocated desire, shared by all parties, to participate in sexual activity. Sex positivity celebrates healthy sexual relationships and communication, which stems from consensual sexual experiences and the importance of discussing consent. Consent is fundamental to creating a safe, sex-positive environment, and sexual experiences that lack consent are forms of sexual violence. Talk about it, and then talk about it again—with everyone in your life!

2. Don’t be Shy

There is nothing wrong with talking openly about sex. Sex talk can be fun, eye-opening, and educational. Whether you’re having a catch-up brunch with your gals, or debriefing with a partner, it’s essential to challenge old ideals that sex is uncomfortable and taboo to discuss. Talking about sex is FUN, and while it may seem awkward at first, we promise you’ll never feel so free.

3. Advocate for Comprehensive Sex Education

Comprehensive sex education means providing age-appropriate, inclusive, and unbiased facts and resources on sex, development, contraception, sexual health, consent, abortion, sexuality, healthy relationships, bodily autonomy, and more to all students. Here’s what comprehensive sex education should not look like: abstinence-centered and fear-mongering.

Research your state laws and reach out to local schools and legislators! Advocating for a sex-positive education for future generations is so important.

4. Stop Apologizing

Not in the mood? Perfect! Never had sex? Great! Love sex all day, every day? Yay! Stop apologizing for your personal feelings about sex. Whether you’re into sex or not, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you feel sexually. Period.

5. Embrace Sex

Embrace sex in all its glory. Sex can be (and often is) awkward, weird, embarrassing, and silly—and that’s totally normal. Stop trying to make sex look like it does in movies and TV shows. Take a deep breath and just go with the flow!

You should never feel bad about your sexual preferences or fantasies, and you definitely don’t want to make your partner feel bad about theirs, even if they’re different from yours. Be open and honest with your partner about what you like, ask what they’re into, and find common ground that works for both of you!

Interested in exploring some new ways to enhance your sexual experience? Check out our Sex & Wellness shop now.

6. Promote Body Positivity & Self Love

All bodies are beautiful, accepted, and celebrated—so love yourself and do it unconditionally! Cherish the wonderful uniqueness of your body, and say no to society’s conventional expectations and exclusive definitions of beauty. Being comfortable in your skin, and owning your body, will make sex all that much easier and enjoyable. You’re worthy of love, happiness, sex, fun, and praise, no matter what your body looks like. Your body is your home, and it’s a great one!

7. Educate Yourself

Part of being sex positive means understanding that sex looks different for everyone. Educating yourself on the endless sexual practices and preferences that come with diverse sexualities, genders, and identities is essential when creating a safe space of mutual respect and support. This can help you understand your own sexuality too!

8. Say No to Slut Shaming

Don’t be lame; stop the slut shame. Slut shaming is the act of shaming women for their clothing, sexual past, preferences, sexual health, or any other sexual experiences that don’t fall within tired societal norms.

Women who embrace their sexuality and openly enjoy sex are labeled as “promiscuous” and “unable to control themselves.” This narrative is damaging and can lead to victim blaming. Your body, sexuality, and sexual choices are no one’s business but your own!

9. Prioritize Sexual Health

Staying on top of your sexual health is vital. Be open and honest with your partner about STIs, get tested regularly, clean those toys, visit the gyno if you have any questions or concerns, and, our #1 rule, always pee after sex. You know the drill.

10. Pass It On

Make it a goal to spread the word. Hold your friends, family, and loved ones accountable and teach them how to be more sex positive. Sex positivity is a journey that takes time and practice, so always remember to be patient with yourself and others.

Anyone and everyone can be sex positive, even if you don’t have sex! We all deserve a no-judgment zone to flourish, explore our sexualities, and celebrate sex however we please. This movement promotes embracing all aspects of sexuality without shame or guilt while giving the same understanding energy to others.

How do you stay sex positive? Let us know at Spencersblog@spencergifts.com! For more ways to stay informed and up-to-date, check out our Sexuality and Gender Identities Glossary: A List of Inclusive Terms.