We get it. Privacy can be hard to come by when you have roommates. Maybe your walls are paper-thin, or maybe your roomie’s bed is just a few short feet away from yours. But that doesn’t mean you have to suffer! Let’s go over a few ways you can still have a fun and fulfilling sex life.


Moving Into a New Place

Moving into a new place often brings many exciting changes to your routineโ€”a new job, new school, new people! But you’ll also find that all this change can bring some “challenges.” For some, moving into a new place might mean sharing that space with a roommate or two. And while that doesn’t mean you have to put your private time on hold, it does mean you’ll have to try out these fun and safe sex tips so you can continue getting it on in your new place (without stepping on any toes!).


Mark Your Calendars

Let’s get “worst case scenario” out of the way. You just finished your first day at your new job or school, ate lunch alone, had an awkward conversation with your manager, classmate, or teacher, and had to park two blocks away from your new place. Needless to say, you need to decompress. You unlock the door, and there they are. Your roommate’s partner is over. Things are heating up on the couch. You accidentally make eye contact andโ€ฆ O.M.G. Being on either end of this situation isn’t ideal. This is why scheduling alone time matters.

You see, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of starting your new chapter. We’re just as excited for you! But remember, you’re not the only one adjusting. You’re also stepping into someone else’s routine.

The best way to avoid awkward run-ins is to plan ahead. You don’t need to announce every hookup, but you should definitely be mindful of when your space is available. Coordinate some alone time when you need it. A quick, “Hey, do you need the place Friday night?” can go a long way.

The key here is to plan your time out accordingly and give everyone a polite notice in advance. Whether you’re inviting someone over or just need solo time to unwind, setting clear boundaries around privacy keeps everyone comfortable. This isn’t a reality show; not everyone needs to be around for every scene.


Neat and Discreet

When you become roommates with someone, especially someone you’ve never lived with before, you’re going to learn a lot about them. It’s a natural part of sharing a space!

You’ll pick up on each other’s favorite cereal, your go-to candle scents, and plenty of other quirks! But if someone stumbles across your sex toy or walks in on an unwanted “show,” we’d say you and the roomie are getting a little too close. Being a responsible roommate is the key to privacy and respect.

  • Keep your stuff tucked away in drawers, bins, or under-bed boxes, somewhere only you will be looking to find it.
  • Charge your toys when you’re there so they aren’t left out all vulnerable. If you want the batteries fresh when you return, try hooking them up to a portable charger while you’re away and keeping it all in your hiding spot.
  • Clean your stuff privately and find the right place to do it. Your magic wand doesn’t need to be found in the kitchen sink.
  • Lock your bedroom door and be discreet, whether alone or with a partner.

Being respectful doesn’t end at hiding your toys or locking the door. It’s that condom on top of the open waste bin, that thong on the bathroom floor, or any other messy indicators that scream, “I JUST GOT LAID HERE!”

Remember, being discreet doesn’t mean being secretive or even embarrassed! It means being mindful of how your private moments appear in shared spaces. Respect goes both ways, and keeping the peace at home starts with keeping your sex life where it belongs: yours.


We Hear You

Sharing a space and trying to get laid can be hard. Squeaky beds and thin apartment walls be damned, because you’re going to have a fully sound strategy!

The first step to keeping it quiet is to take a vow of silence with some Shaolin monks on a mountain top. But seriously, the first step is taking the active decision to keep yourself quiet and control your body movements and breathing. Remember to explain the situation to your partner and ensure they play by the same rules, too (plus, it can actually make it so much hotter to try and be quiet, trust!). You’ll also want to find all the creaks and quirks of your new environment, so throw those pillows behind the headboard and learn which floorboards not to get down on.

The last step is the most important: turn on those ambient noises! You’re going to want to set that oscillating fan to the max and put on some TV or music to mask all the other sounds. Fun tip! For TV or movies, pick something neither of you are emotionally invested in, because let’s be real, you’re going to be a little preoccupied. Real tip! Maybe skip the over-the-top “sexy time playlist.” Not only can it feel a little silly in a dorm or bunk bed situation, but it also defeats the purpose of staying discreet. Instead, try some lo-fi or modern jazz! Any genre you and your partner vibe with that keeps the energy low-key and the volume just high enough to blend everything else out.


Final Advice

You’ve got this! You’re stepping into a whole new chapter of your life, and it will be one of the wildest rides yet. With everything else on your plate, when and where you’re having sex shouldn’t be one of the stressors. A little planning goes a long way in making these moments enjoyable, and now you’ve got the tools to make it work. Be sure to share this advice with your partner for when it’s your turn to sleep over at theirs!

And hey, we’re hoping that by keeping a respectful relationship with your roommate, you’re put on the path to develop a personal bond so strong that they end up asking you for advice.

Happy humping! ๐Ÿ™‚