If you struggle with premature ejaculation, feel discomfort during longer sex sessions, or simply want to savor having sex until you’re ready to reach your peak, below are some tips on how to last longer in bed. Keep reading to learn how to delay your orgasm, prolong your erection and make sex last for as long as you’d like.
How Long the Average Man and Woman Last in Bed
Before we share statistics about how long the average man lasts in bed and how long the average woman lasts in bed, you should know that these are averages. Some people will reach climax in a shorter or longer amount of time than these averages. Additionally, what people define as “sex” may vary, and there are benefits of orgasm regardless of the time it takes to reach them. How long you have sex doesn’t necessarily correlate with how much you enjoy it, as anyone who’s had a fun quickie will know.
With that in mind, a 2015 study found that the median time for sex was 5.4 minutes, with a slightly longer time, 6.5 minutes, for those ages 18-30, and slightly shorter, 4.3 minutes, for ages 51 and over. A 2020 study found that for women in monogamous stable heterosexual relationships, it took them an average of 13.41 minutes to reach orgasm. This may also differ depending on the genders of the people having sex. A 2015 survey by the website Autostraddle found that for “lady-types who sleep with lady-types,” 80% have sex for 30 minutes or more.
While we have included plenty of tips for how to make sex last longer, please know that there’s no specific one-size-fits-all amount of time sex should last for your pleasure. That’s an individual preference that will depend on numerous factors, so we encourage you to explore both timing and enjoyment. A good general rule is to focus on your own sexual pleasure as well as that of your partner or partners, not what others you aren’t sleeping with are doing.
How to Last Longer in Bed Naturally
For those who want to go the natural route to greater sexual stamina, there are plenty of simple ways to get started on this exciting path. A bonus of using natural methods is that unlike supplements, these ways can help train your body in ways that will help you last longer on an ongoing basis.
One of the easiest ways to last longer for men and women is to practice edging, meaning holding off on your orgasm. This method can be practiced on your own or with a partner. Essentially, edging means you force yourself not to orgasm when you’re right on the edge of climax. By holding back, you help train your body to not ejaculate immediately. While this may feel frustrating in the moment, it can lead to a more intense orgasm afterward. According to Kinkly, “As a bonus, the practice of edging, especially over time, can also help prevent premature ejaculation in men and increase overall sexual stamina.”
You can also engage in edging for as short or long a time period as you’d like. You can start by holding off on orgasming for one or two minutes and slowly build up to longer time periods. You may want to experiment on your own to see how much control you have over how long your stamina lasts. This is an excellent and simple approach for how to practice lasting longer bed before you try it with someone else. You can not only see how long you last, but also if there’s any difference to the quality of your orgasm. Then after you feel confident that you’ve managed to hold off on your orgasm, you can take this practice into partnered sex and see if it helps you last longer in bed.
Take Breaks to Make Sex Last Longer
Let’s say it’s Saturday night, you have your place to yourself and nowhere else to be, and you’re intent on trying out lots of different sexual positions with your partner. In other words, you want the opposite of a quickie. You can use all the aforementioned techniques, as well as a simple, old-school one: take breaks. It may seem counterintuitive to stop having sex just when things are getting hot and heavy, but even a short break for some foreplay or a hot makeout session can keep you in the mood while giving your body time to recover. You could think of this as a form of edging, just done with your partner. Or you can plan for multiple rounds of sex, provided you give yourself some recovery time.
How to Make Yourself Mentally Last Longer in Bed
If you find that your sexual fantasies are making you orgasm more quickly and you’re hoping to hold off for a longer period of time, you can change up what you’re thinking about during masturbation or sex. That’s not to say you can’t think about pleasant, sexy things during this time, but perhaps visualize and engage in slow, sensual kisses rather than a more fast-paced, vivid encounter. This may help you draw out the sexual experience and savor it rather than feeling like you’re in a rush to the climactic finish line.
You may also want to try different breathing techniques. According to Men’s Health, fast, shallow breaths are typically used during orgasm, so try doing more prolonged, deeper breaths. This will give you something else to focus on and may help you last longer.
How a Cock Ring Can Help You Last Longer in Bed
There are many reasons why you might want to use a cock ring; maintaining your erection for a longer time period is one of the most popular reasons. If you’d like to stay hard for a greater amount of time than you usually do and have more control over your erection, a cock ring is a safe and easy way to make that happen. You can wear a cock ring on your own or with a partner. Always follow the instructions that come with your cock ring; most are meant to be worn for around 20 to 30 minutes. Wearing a cock ring for longer than the recommended time is not recommended. Use some lubricant on the inside of the cock ring for maximum comfort.
How a cock ring works is by restricting blood flow to the penis; this allows the penis to stay engorged while the cock ring is wrapped around the base. While the cock ring is on, you can masturbate or have your partner touch you or perform oral sex on you. You can also have sex while wearing a cock ring. Many couples enjoy using cock rings as a couple’s sex toy, ones that can help the wearer maintain their erection while stimulating their partner.
A cock ring can help you last longer in bed because you likely will not ejaculate until you remove the cock ring. According to sexual health site Go Ask Alice, “When a wearer finally does ejaculate, the sensation is more intense, since it took a longer time to come, and because the penis is filled with additional blood.”
Check out our blog for more tips on how to last longer for men.
How to Use Delay Spray
Delay spray, also known as delay cream or prolonging cream, can be used to help men last longer in bed. These sprays are designed to delay your orgasm by using ingredients such as lidocaine to numb the shaft of the penis, so it’s not as sensitive and prone to premature ejaculation. Delay sprays are easy to use. Simply hold a delay spray like Go Long Climax Control for Him Numbing Spray near your penis, spray, and wait a few minutes for a numbing sensation to take effect. These sprays help you hold off your climax and prevent premature ejaculation. The sensation is temporary, and you will still enjoy the experience but will not be as likely to orgasm earlier than you desire. How long in advance you should use a delay spray and how much to use will depend on each individual spray, so always read the package carefully. Using a numbing cream to last longer in bed can be an occasional or regular practice. A delay spray can be used on its own or in conjunction with the other methods outlined in this article.
Using Lubricant to Last Longer in Bed
If your genitals start to feel chafed after a certain amount of time having sex, there’s no need to halt what you’re doing. Just add some lube! Lubricant should be a bedside staple for all sorts of sexual activity, from intercourse or manual stimulation to sex toy use and more.
If you or your partner’s vagina isn’t as lubricated after you’ve been having sex for a given period or either of you feel uncomfortable, you can easily adjust that by adding some lubrication. Water-based lubricants are recommended for any type of sex play due to their compatibility with condoms or sex toys. If you’re specifically looking for a long-lasting lubricant, though, you may want to try a silicone-based lube; just make sure you’re not using any silicone sex toys with silicone-based lubricant as they aren’t compatible.
It’s important to remember that a little lubricant can go a long way; if you’re intent on a long sex session, that doesn’t mean you should double or triple your usual amount of lube. Just keep it handy in case you need to replenish at any point. You want to reduce friction but you don’t want sex to get too slippery.
Curious about lubricant? Learn all about the three types of lubricant here.
Home Remedies to Last Longer in Bed
There are other natural methods to increase your sexual stamina and improve your sex life. There are things you can do for your health that will also have positive effects in the bedroom, such as quitting smoking. Urologist Dr. Richard Milstein told WebMD, “Smoking causes damage to smooth muscle inside the penis that interferes with erectile functioning.” So that’s one more reason to kick the nicotine habit!
You may be wondering if there are foods or supplements you can take to make you last longer in bed. While not everyone will experience the same benefits of any given food, there are foods that can increase your sexual stamina. According to Eat This, Not That!, watermelon contains L-arginine, which can increase blood flow to the penis and strengthen erections. Nuts are another food that contain L-arginine and may produce similar results. Spinach is also high in arginine, Other foods they cite that may be useful to improve your sexual performance include ginger, salmon, oats, quinoa, and canned tuna, among others.
Foods that are high in nitrates, like beets, can improve overall blood flow, which includes blood flow to the genitals. This means that you have a wide variety of foods you can consume that are not only healthy but may also help your bedroom performance. You can select the foods that appeal most to you as part of a balanced diet.
If you experience premature ejaculation, a Journal of Sexual Medicine study found that niacin may improve sexual performance. Niacin can be found in its own supplements or a multi-vitamin. Foods that are high in niacin include meats such as liver and chicken as well as fish.
Like to eat spicy? You’re in luck because chili peppers are also recommended as a way to improve your sexual performance and staying power.
Some foods, like bananas, can directly help you last longer at sex by helping with blood flow, while others may contribute to your overall health in sexually beneficial ways. Sexually beneficial foods might even be delicious ones you’d eat anyway; according to Eat This, Not That!, dark chocolate can counteract stress, which may help with performance anxiety.
If you’re eating specific foods to last longer in bed, make sure that you are eating them in a timely manner. It’s not recommended to eat a huge meal and then immediately jump in bed, as you could find yourself having digestion issues that are a mood killer. Give yourself time to digest your food before hitting the sack.
You may also want to keep a food journal to track what you’re eating as well as your sexual performance to help you determine whether the foods you’ve added to your diet made a difference.
What to Drink to Last Longer in Bed
Other foods that may help your sex life include honey. There are several ways honey may help you last longer in bed and improve your sexual performance. According to the CBC, honey contains boron, which can help regulate the hormones estrogen and testosterone. You can follow this ginger, garlic, and honey recipe that might make you last longer in bed and improve your sexual performance. The thinking behind this homemade aid for invigorating your sex life is that the ginger may be an aphrodisiac, according to The Health Site, while the garlic and honey may provide energy. Plus, in this form, you won’t have the garlic breath you would if you consumed garlic straight.
You can also look for foods like watermelon, mentioned above, that are high in niacin, and ones like apples, that have the antioxidant quercetin, which can improve your sexual stamina, and experiment with making your own smoothies. You can mix and match depending on your taste. For instance, if you like red wine, it also contains quercetin, so it may be something to drink in moderation to help you last longer in bed. However, there’s no single alcohol that will make you last longer in bed, and alcohol use may have the opposite effect if you drink too much.
Good news for coffee drinkers! A 2015 study found that men who drink two to three cups of coffee a day were less likely to experience erectile dysfunction. While there’s no definitive answer, it’s possible that caffeine can help you last longer in bed. Be warned, though, that if you drink caffeine at night, it may leave you too wired to sleep properly, which can interfere with your overall health and energy, and could negatively impact your sexual functioning.
Exercises to Last Longer in Bed Naturally
Talk about a workout! If you want to stay fit where it counts, start doing pelvic exercises by clenching your muscles as if you have to pee and want to stop it. Do this for about 10 seconds multiple times a day. While this is not a guarantee that you will last longer in bed, Kegel exercises are widely recommended both for better bladder control and better sexual sensation. They are likely to be one of the most direct ways exercise can lead to more sexual stamina. Kegel exercises are also a wonderful way for women to strengthen these inner muscles after giving birth. For more detail, see the Mayo Clinic’s guides on Kegel exercises for men and Kegel exercises for women.
There are other exercises you can do that can have a positive impact on your overall health and your sexual performance. Everyday Health recommends weight lifting, yoga, walking, and swimming along with Kegels. Whether you do these exercises on a daily basis or mix them up, they can improve your spirits and make you stronger and more fit, which can all lead to bedroom bliss. If you’re engaging in sexual positions that require core, leg, or upper body strength, doing those workouts can also help you maintain the positions without experiencing muscle fatigue.
Remember: No matter how long sex lasts, focus on having a good time and enjoying yourself.
There you go: Our tips to last longer in bed! We hope you have the fulfilling sex life you desire. Want to know more about sex? Check out our sex and sex toys frequently asked questions.