Curious about strap-on sex? Looking to check something off your sex bucket list? Keep reading to learn all about the ins and outs of strap-on dildos, harnesses, and how to use them.
What Is a Strap-On?
A strap-on is a wearable dildo that is attached by a harness or a plug for use during sexual intercourse. Strap-ons (also called strap-on dildos) are inclusive and adaptable, allowing individuals of any gender identity to participate in giving and receiving pleasure. They play a role in expanding the possibilities of sexual expression, communication, and the pursuit of mutual satisfaction in relationships.
Types of Strap-On Dildos:
Curved
A curved strap-on does exactly what it says. Its slight upward curve is designed for direct stimulation of the p-spot or g-spot.
Double
Double strap-ons (or double dildos) feature two dildos designed for simultaneous penetration or double penetration.
Hollow
Use this dildo as an extension of your own penis for extended sex sessions or gender-affirming sex. This strap-on was initially designed for those who struggle with erectile dysfunction but has been greatly affirming for trans and nonbinary folx.
Strapless
A strapless dildo, sometimes called a strapless strap-on, features a dildo with a plug on one end that is designed to pleasure you and your partner at the same time.
Vibrating
Vibrating dildos combine the allure of a vibrator with a dildo and can allow for mutual pleasure for the giver and receiver. Some come complete with a remote that controls a vibrating motor in the dildo shaft. A vibrating strap-on dildo can deliver the best of both worlds, providing deep penetration along with vibration that both partners will appreciate.
Types of Strap-On Harnesses:
Briefs
A brief-style strap-on is designed with comfort in mind. The dildo of your choice is attached to boxer-brief underwear using an o-ring to hold the toy in place. This design is a great option for beginners, and the brief prevents any potential chafing.
Jock Style
These harnesses have an adjustable strap on each side of the wearer’s butt cheeks. This harness gives the wearer control and security.
Body Harnesses
Body harnesses are worn on other parts of the body than around the waist. A thigh harness is a comfortable and mobility-friendly design that can be repurposed on arms, pillows, or other furniture for play. There are even smaller hand harnesses that make cramping worries a thing of the past.
Face Harnesses
If unique, intimate experiences are what you are looking for, a face harness may interest you. While the dildo rests on the mouth or chin of the wearer, the strap goes around the back of the head so that the harness can be held in its place.
How to Use a Strap-On:
Adding a new kind of sex toy can be intimidating, but communication is key. Make sure you and your partner(s) are comfortable, have a clear idea of wants and expectations, and even a safe word if things get too intense. Here are a few tips on how to explore what works for you and your partner:
Get Comfortable
Wearing a harness might feel weird at first since you have a whole extra appendage to get used to! Chafing is real, so wearing the harness around before sex will help you find ways to avoid that if it is an issue. Give yourself time to get used to how the strap-on works with your body as an extension of yourself, and don’t be afraid to practice thrusting.
Don’t Worry About What You Look Like
Easier said than done, I know. But sometimes, you may be uncertain about your appearance when trying something new in bed, and that’s okay! Even if you don’t feel like you look sexy, you might not be the only one distracted by you wearing a harness. Your partner(s) will think the harness is sexy because you’re wearing it. If you do struggle with worrying about how you look, try pairing the harness with some lingerie!
Have Your Partner Touch Your Strap-On
Before you jump into penetration, let your partner get familiar with your new toy. Allow them to appreciate what’s now resting between your legs (or on your thigh or on your chin). Let your partner know that they’re free to experiment with your new sex toy, and that you want your strap-on sex to be a mutually enjoyable experiment. Ask them what they want you to do with your strap-on and consider adding some dirty talk. You just might learn something new about their sexual fantasies!
It’s Ok to Laugh
Like any first time, using a strap-on may feel a little silly and awkward, but those feelings will go away with time. The beauty of any relationship is feeling comfortable enough to experiment in new ways, and that also means feeling comfortable enough to laugh when things go awry. Similarly, it’s okay if you find out that strap-ons aren’t working for you during that specific session or at all. At least you can say you tried it out.
Caring for a Strap-On:
How to clean your strap-on and harness depends on the material they’re made of. If your dildo is made of silicone, glass, or stainless steel and doesn’t have an internal vibrator, you can pop it in the dishwasher, boil it in hot water for a few minutes, or hand wash it with sex toy cleaner or antibacterial soap. If they have an internal vibrator, you can wipe them down with warm water and toy cleaner.
Ready to explore strap-on sex? Check out our wide range of strap-on dildos and harnesses. For more sex tips that are sure to make your intimate life even more exciting, check out The Inspo Spot!
