If you’re thinking about bringing a sex toy into the bedroom with your partner but aren’t sure how to bring up the subject, keep reading for some expert tips. Introducing a sex toy to your partner-play routine can be an excellent way to add intimacy to your relationship. Whether you wind up using them long-term or for a few wild nights of pleasure, the idea is to get out of any sexual rut you’ve fallen into and perhaps discover something new about your partner.


Get in Bed and… Talk

Communication is one of the key ingredients to a good relationship. After all, if you can’t talk about sex with your partner, how are you ever going to have the sex life you deserve? So, if you’re interested in sharing the wide world of sex toys with your partner, you have to be bold enough to bring it up. You don’t want to spring a new toy on them if it might make them uncomfortable.

Here are a few ways to start that conversation:

  • Have you ever used a ____? I’m curious about them.
  • Did you see that when we were watching (insert TV show or movie), (character) used a sex toy?
  • I was looking at Spencer’s and saw some toys that intrigued me. What do you think?

Have this conversation when you’re both focused on each other, not while you’re watching TV or otherwise distracted. It doesn’t have to be a big talk, but it can simply be a way to broach the subject.


Show Them What You Like

Perhaps you already have your own vibrator, dildo, butt plug, or another type of intimate product stashed away in a storage bag or bedside drawer. Maybe your partner knows; maybe they don’t. But letting your partner get a glimpse can be a sexy and informative way to show them how you like to be touched and what sensations arouse you the most. To begin, you could show them your favorite toy and explain how you enjoy using it. If you want to take it a step further, you could also let them be a voyeur, watching you in action, or you could hand them a toy and let them take the reins. Either way, this is a significant step toward discussing the specifics of sex toys.


Shop for Sex Toys Together

Shopping together for a sex toy is a great way to open up deeper conversations about this new sexual experience. Take a look at an online collection and discuss the wide range of options; start a yes/no/maybe list consisting of toys you’d like to use, toys you don’t want to try, and toys you might be open to trying. From there, you can narrow down the list and decide which to start with.

Not sure what you want? A sex toy kit offers you multiple options. This will help you both get used to what kinds of sex toys are out there and help you get to know what catches your partner’s eye.


Try Light Bondage

While bondage may seem intimidating at first, there’s actually a wide variety of beginner-level activities that take your sexual experience to a whole new level. If you’ve never tried bondage before, it’s important to brush up on the basics of bondage for beginners, making sure you’re doing it safely. You can easily experiment with a simple toy like a pair of furry handcuffs or a blindfold and build up from there. You can also mix in other sex toys during bondage, such as using a vibrator on a person who’s restrained and watching them squirm in the best possible way.


Get in the Bath

Just as a bath can be a relaxing solo experience where you let your worries go, taking a bath with your partner is a perfect neutral setting for you to explore sex toys like waterproof vibrators. There’s something disarming about being in the bathtub that will likely make it easier to get a little silly while also exploring your likes and dislikes. You can set a date for a bath where you get totally clean—and totally dirty.


There you have it—our sexperts’ five tips on introducing sex toys to the one you love. Consider them a starting point for a conversation that never has to end! After all, if you explore intimate products with your partner, there’s always something new to try, keeping your sex life full of variety.

Visit our blogs on how to use sex toys and our complete guide to sex toys for more details.