Temperature play sex toys are an exciting way to heat things up or cool things down in the bedroom. For anyone looking for an easy and fun way to spice up your sex life, consider temperature play. Keep reading to find out what temperate play is, why people like it, and the best sex toys for temperature play.
What is temperature play?
Temperature play means exactly what it sounds like: playing with temperatures like hot or cold to provoke sexual excitement. This could mean exposing the skin to something like an ice cube or a heated or cooled sex toy. The idea is that the change in temperature, whether warmer or cooler, triggers an arousing feeling.
Why do people like temperature play?
There are various reasons people like temperature play. If you’ve ever had a partner trail an ice cube along your skin, whether your arm or a more intimate area such as your nipple, or you’ve used a warming lotion or a massage candle, you’ve engaged in a form of temperature play. According to Kinkly, “The point of temperature play is to provoke arousal by using the skin’s neuroreceptors. Stimulation through heat or cold gives the body a rush of sensations that, during foreplay, is translated into arousal.” Some people may be more inclined toward heat or coolness as part of their temperature play. You may not know whether you enjoy temperature play until you try it.
For some people, temperature play is part of BDSM or kinky play. A submissive partner may enjoy being ordered to partake in temperature play since the sensation can be arousing and challenging. For others, it’s simply a way to experience a new sensation.
There can also be a mental component to enjoying this sexual activity. Sex therapist Dulcinea Pitagora told Refinery29, “When temperature play is negotiated and consented to, the brain starts preparing for a sexy and exciting experience, and basically puts nerve endings in the body — erogenous zones, but also everywhere else — on high alert for new sensations.”
How can I engage in hot wax play safely?
The most important rule when it comes to using hot wax for temperature play is to use candles designed for temperature play. The composition of the candles matters, so your regular household candles aren’t a good bet for pouring hot wax onto your or a partner’s skin. Candles specifically designed for hot wax play are made of materials such as paraffin that are safe to be used directly on the skin. It’s also important to make sure nobody involved is allergic to any of the candle’s ingredients.
With that in mind, you still want to be prepared for the sensation of hot wax hitting your skin. It’s best to pour some of the hot wax onto a non-erogenous zone, such as your inner arm first. That will get you used to the feeling of the hot wax landing on your skin, then quickly cooling off, before you move on to more intimate parts of the body.
Light the candle, then let it burn for about 15 minutes until the wax has started melting and is soft enough for pouring. That’s when you’ll want to pour it onto your or your partner’s skin, from a height of around six inches; it will cool off a little as it lands. You can make the wax feel hotter by moving the candle closer to their body or cooler by holding it higher up.
Some people may have a higher tolerance for heat and may want hot wax poured directly on sensitive areas such as the nipples, inner thighs, or stomach. You can help prevent any sticky situations by using some baby oil beforehand on the areas you plan to pour wax. Keep in mind that any areas with hair will give you a trickier time when it comes to removing the wax, so it’s best to avoid or shave those areas. Because they are more delicate, you shouldn’t try wax play on the face or genitals, or inside the body.
How can I safely do temperature play with warm objects?
You want to be careful to use sex toys that are warm but aren’t going to be too hot to engage in temperature play safely. Your skin is sensitive and just as you should only use candles made for hot wax play, you should only use warming products or glass or metal sex toys that are safe for heating up. You want to protect your skin as well as your sex toys.
One great way to get started with warm temperature play is to use a warming lube or lotion. Warming lubes can be used the way you would any sex lubricant to reduce friction; you’ll notice a gently warming feeling as they meet your skin. Warming lotions are fun and easy to use; just pour them on the skin and blow gently, and the lotion will warm up. They’re an excellent way to get things steamy in the bedroom and bring in a new sensation when giving your partner a massage.
Similarly, there are vibrators that have a built-in warming element. They are designed to bring an appropriate level of heat to the user. You can trust that a specifically designed warming vibrator has been thoroughly tested and will be warm where it counts but not so hot that it will feel uncomfortable.
How can I safely do temperature play with cold objects?
First, see if you enjoy the sensation of coldness on your skin. Try an ice cube by letting it melt slightly in your hand before using it directly on your skin. You can run the ice cube anywhere you’d like, whether along your neck, around or on your nipples, along your inner thighs, on your genitals, or let it melt between your butt cheeks. If you enjoy the cold sensation, you might also appreciate other forms of cold temperature play.
Glass sex toys are made of glass that’s able to sustain heat or cold and not break or get damaged. A simple way to test them out is to pour a glass of icy cold water and submerge your glass sex toy in it. Then take it out and start using it the way your normally would. It will likely be a shock to your system to suddenly start penetrating yourself with a cold dildo, so be prepared. This temperature shift is part of the thrill for those who like temperature play. Freezing glass sex toys may lead to them breaking, but you can get them extremely cold by putting them in ice water and putting that in the refrigerator. Brrr!
What are the best sex toys for temperature play?
Some sex toys are designed specifically for temperature play, such as heated vibrators. Glass sex toys can easily adapt to various types of temperature play by being warmed up or chilled. You don’t want to use toys made of materials other than glass or metal because they could get damaged by the change in temperature and are harder to clean.
Recommended temperature play sex toys
Joy Heated Rechargeable Waterproof Rabbit Vibrator 8 Inch – Oona
The name says it all: Joy is a total joy! This powerful rabbit vibrator will warm you up from the inside out while it’s doing double duty stimulating your clitoris and offering deep penetration. Plus, it’s rechargeable and waterproof!
Waterproof Heated Glow Rabbit Vibrator – 7 Inch
The shaft of this heated vibrator warms up to deliver exciting sensations. This flexible and waterproof vibrator is a perfect introduction to temperature play.
Glass Dildos and Plugs
Curved Beaded Glass Dildo – 5 Inch
This beaded glass dildo has plenty of ways to bring the heat (or the cold). With its round beads, inserting each one will bring you a new round of pleasure.
Icicles No. 24 Glass Dildo – 6 Inch
Whether you heat it up or cool it down, this powerful glass dildo with all its nubs and ridges is sure to please. For powerful sensations like you’ve never felt before, this pink glass sex toy is a surefire bedroom winner.
Mr. Swirly G-Spot Glass Dildo – 6.5 Inch
Put a new spin on temperature play when you combine it with G-spot stimulation thanks to Mr. Swirly! This elegantly designed dildo is curved in just the right way to hit your G-spot every time.
Plunge Glass Dildo with Removable Suction Cup 7.1 Inch – Oona
For a unique sex toy that can more than fulfill your urges, Plunge offers a large glass dildo with a suction cup for versatility. Whether you want it warm or chilled, Plunge is ready for you.
Beaded Glass Butt Plug – 7.5 Inch
Give backdoor pleasure a whole new meaning when you warm up or cool off this beautiful glass butt plug. With its easy-to-hold handle and pleasure knobs, all you need is some lube and you’re ready for sensual thrills galore.
There’s the scoop on temperature play sex toys for anyone looking to try something new in your sex life. Want to learn more? See our guide to sex toys.